Mr. Brach is an English teacher at Orchard Park High School. He just recently began teaching 10th graders in the wonderful classic literary works of the English language. Brach is not pompous, by his own description, and wears lots of plaid. He resides in room 356 in that weird back section of the school.
Q: How would you describe yourself in one sentence?
A: A middle schooler trapped in a fifty-year olds body.
Q: What did you eat for lunch today?
A: I had two meatballs and a cheese stick.
Q: What does being a teacher mean to you?
A: Being a teacher means that I– I obviously hope that people learn something from the classes I teach, but I really hope at the end of the day that they become more curious and more eager to dig into topics.
Q: What’s your favorite grade to teach?
A: I’m gonna say 12th graders. 12th graders are lazy, but I like ‘em.
Q: Who was your favorite teacher in high school?
A: My 10th grade English teacher Mr. Zabawa. In a sea of terrible teachers, he was one of the better ones.
Q: Who’s your teacher BFF?
A: Mr. Perrelli, Mr. Hillegas–one of those two knuckleheads, I guess.
Q: What’s your favorite nickname students have given you?
A: T.Bone, which is just not…very original.
Q: Who’s your favorite character from an assigned English book?
A: Dolphus Raymond, from To Kill a Mockingbird. He’s living the life he wants to live.
Q: What’s the best book you’ve ever read?
A: IT by Stephen King.
Q: What’s the best gift you’ve ever gotten?
A: When I was fourteen, my dad bought me a guitar.
Q: What’s your favorite song to play on the guitar?
A: I really don’t play other people’s music. I just kinda play my own stuff because I’m not good enough to play other people’s music.
Q: What person do you admire most?
A: I admire my parents because they took non-traditional paths to get to where they were in life and were happy when they got there.
Q: How do you want to die and at what age?
A: Painlessly at 100.
Q: What are you most afraid of?
A: I don’t really like rats. Rats make me uncomfortable. But I also don’t want anything negative to happen to my family.
Q: What’s the worst crime you’ve ever committed (that you can admit to here)?
A: I routinely park illegally (no, not in the handicapped spot). Not to mention stealing a sign from the 1993 World University Games.
Q: If you had the option to be encased in ice and brought to the future, would you do it?
A: Yeah, why not? Why wouldn’t I? I wanna see what’s up. I’m nosy.
Q: What’s your SubWay order?
A: A turkey on a wheat roll with pepper jack cheese, lettuce, light honey mustard, toasted.
Q: What’s your favorite fast food chain?
A: In and Out Burger.
Q: What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
A: Losing a loved one. But I am also in despair when I’m craving ice cream, and I go to the freezer and there’s no ice cream in it.
Q: What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Double dark chocolate from Sweet Jennies. But my favorite Ben and Jerries is “Oat of This World.” It’s like oat–it’s good.
Q: What’s your motto?
A: Don’t take anything too seriously.
